Victory is Mine!
From the Holy City of Oregon
Far more nations have been saved by the idiocy of their enemies than by their own abilities.
Take for instance the Allies in World War II. While their blunders repeatedly promised their destruction, those of Hitler, invariably of far greater magnitude, always saved the day. From invading the Soviet Union to unnecessarily declaring war on the United States, Hitler could always be counted upon to pull the Allies’, especially Britain’s, fat from the fire.
Similarly, today’s Islamo-Fascist enemy seems bent on saving the UK’s bacon. This time however rather than a master bungler on high, the credit is owed to countless, nameless fanatics. While they can rattle off endless Islamic trivia that would make the geekiest Star Wars fanboy green with envy, it seems that making bombs that actually go off continues to elude them. The series of unsuccessful post July 7th bombings in Britain, coupled with last weekend’s pyrotechnic pratfalls indicates that at least for them, bomb making is somewhat of a Darwinian process. Those who can do... and die. Those who can’t, set themselves on fire.
Not content with their Homer Simpson-like failed car bombings, they crowned those maladroit attempts at mayhem with an attack on the Glasgow airport so deliciously buffoonish that it was worthy of Fox’s Family Guy. Unfortunately for these Wahabist Peter Griffins, they lacked the technical assistance of a debonair talking dog and a super-intelligent, evil toddler. Having failed to either anticipate the presence of concrete bollards in front of the terminal, or to devise a way to make their Jeep Cherokee actually explode, one of them was reduced to pouring gasoline on himself and setting it alight... Boy, you sure showed us, huh?. One wonders if having torched himself, he proclaimed "Damn you all! "(Or perhaps, "I’ve got you now, broccoli!")
Alas, our "hero" failed even to burn himself completely to death. He lies instead, horribly burned in a British hospital. If he manages to survive, I wish for him a long, sickeningly painful recovery after which he will hopefully be hideously disfigured. One suspects that his 72 virgins will need 72 barf bags to attend him.
posted by Chris Morton at 8:07 PM
6 Comments:
Normally, I would support simply keeping horribly burned people sedated until they die from their injuries.
In this case, though, I hope the doctors pull every stop to keep him alive, even if it means forgoing pain relief.
By the way, what were the Allied blunders during World War II
"Michael Ejercito said...
Normally, I would support simply keeping horribly burned people sedated until they die from their injuries.
In this case, though, I hope the doctors pull every stop to keep him alive, even if it means forgoing pain relief.
July 18, 2007 11:34 PM"
Unfortunately, the dumbass in question has died in the past week or so. I hope those 72 virgins have strong stomachs...
"Michael Ejercito said...
By the way, what were the Allied blunders during World War II
July 18, 2007 11:54 PM"
They're legion, to include:
The entire 1940 Belgian and French campaigns
Dieppe
The Norway campaign
The defense of Malaya, Singapore and the Netherlands East Indies
The defense of the Philippines
Kasserine Pass
The Soviet failure to fortify its borders with German occupied terrority and most of Barbarossa until the Germans got to Moscow
You make it seem as if World War II was basically a race to see who was the most incompetent.
Indeed in many ways, it was a race to oblivion. Fortunately for civilization, Germany and Japan were the Jesse Owenses of politico-military hubris and ineptitude.
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